Every once in a little while I have one of those nights during which I just cannot fall asleep. When this happens, I...well, I usually just get irrationally angry and post on Blogger. Also, like most logical individuals, I will then keep myself up trying to come up with plausible reasons for my insomnia. Or I will waste time by browsing the internet until about an hour before I have to get up. Lately, however, I have been having trouble trying to get my brain to focus on anything at all. I feel as though I am trying to think my way out of an a-ha video; all of my thoughts are sketchy and fragmented. I don't know exactly why (there I go again), but I am pretty sure that it has to do with my anxiety towards joblessness/school. Sure, I have plenty of schoolwork to keep my brain occupied, but nothing that really gets me excited about life. I am hoping that my brain just feels lazy because it's so out of practice, and that with time I'll be able to think clearly again and feel a more full range of emotions. Actually, any emotions besides "meh" and "ugh" would be a welcome change from the mental static that I've been experiencing lately. I feel listless. I feel...rusty. So rusty, in fact, that I have apparently decided that sharing my ennui with you is the best possible use of both our time. Brava moi. I think. Maybe. Ugh.
Btw yes, I realize how self-indulgent all of this whining is. I'm working on it.
-GT
