Sweet Louisiana We Have a Problem...

I seem to have developed a rather nasty case of True Blood addiction. All it took was one episode. One measly episode and I was left staring at the screen, completely slack-jawed, a puddle of drool forming at my feet. I've been in a stupor ever since.

How bad is it? Well to begin with, I've ordered a box set of the Southern Vampire series on which the show was based. I've watched every single episode in the space of a week. I've frantically scrolled through countless "insider" predictions on what will be going down in next week's Season 3 finale (I want to know what's going to happen to Eric, the obscenely hot Viking vampire).

Side note: Ok let's examine this. Viking vampire. Best mixture of genres EVER. I'm pretty sure that the only way to top that combo is like...urban cowboy vampire. Oh wait. Ok how about Jesus vampire? Oh yeah well I guess Godric counts... You know the only place they can go from here is guido vamp. Son of a b***h, are you telling me that's been done too?

As you can see from all of this inane rambling, I have a major problem. So, in an effort to save others my suffering, I've come up with a list of several criteria which predispose one to True Blood Addiction. If you fall under one or more of these categories, run far far away from human civilization and go live in a cave. Trust me on this one, kids, it's for the best. Ready? Alright here we go..

You are at risk for True Blood Addiction if:

You have eyes.

Seriously. Ain't no way you gonna get through one or two episodes without being blinded by the number of good-looking people on one show. It's criminal, and it becomes even more of a problem when you factor in the superb art direction and fantastic setting. I've never seen a show evoke the more romantic and mysterious aspects of the South more convincingly.

You have a tendency toward fangirl/boy behaviour.

Do you/are you extremely enthused/obsessive about anything? More than one thing? How severe are these fixations? If you visit online forums for your obsession more than once or twice a week you are toast.

You've read Anne Rice/Lovecraft/Poe and watched every episode of Buffy

Ok I have no excuses on this one. I mean sure I was sick of Vampires appearing EVERYWHERE in pop culture of late but I've always had a soft spot for well-written horror. And make no mistake, True Blood is very well written. Unlike the swill Stephanie Meyers has been peddling for the last couple of years.

You appreciate tall blonde Swedes

Nicky Backstrom would count in this category. So Caps fans with an inordinately strog attachment to Nicky Lars Backstrom? You just might be doomed as well. Actually, can we start a petition to have some Caps players on True Blood? How awesome would Nicky be as Eric's undead younger brother with otherworldly playmaking abilities? No? Well god at least get Alex Semin in there so he and Hot Viking can discuss the importance of tight, shiny suits and inappropriately unbuttoned dress shirts. Y/y?

See? I smell a shopping scene with Eric and the Caps Russians.

Ovie and Semin at a DC gala. Both tight shiny suit offenders. And it looks pretty darn good (if inappropriate without the saving grace of a tie).

All joking aside, these are just a couple preexisting conditions which can morph into full-blown True Blood Addiction. I hope that you can arm yourself againt this terrible disease with the knowledge I've laid out for you.

Awwww dang

What's that? Too late you say? Aw dang, (as church geek Eric above would say), did you take one look at that photo of Alexander Skarsgard and  hotfoot it over to your tv for a peek? Ah well fear not foolish one, just pray. Pray that you get sick of this show swiftly and painlessly. Go out into the light and see your friends. Read a book! Get back to those recipes you were supposed to post on your blog eons ago. You know, get back to the little stuff...the stuff that matters. 

Or just hope that your tv and laptop spontaneously explode. At any rate, I think I've stretched this entry out ling enough. Hopefully this was as mildly entertaining for you as it was therapeutic for me (I just had to tell someone, man). As a reward for making it through my rambling, I've compiled some pictures below of some of my favourite pics/moments from the last 3 seasons of True Blood. I might add more when I get html to work for me.

Please enjoy responsibly *ahem* 

By the way, as usual I make no claim to any of these images. Naht Mahn, as Bill Compton might say. I also want to point out that I have no freaking clue why the images I've posted above arranged themselves in such a wonky formation. Technology and I are not always on speaking terms. He's playing hard to get right now and I just don't have the time for it. Men.

Take care y'all