Anxious Tomato

So by now if you've lasted through the last 2 entries, you must be wondering:

1. What's all this about grumpy tomatoes? Tomatoes don't have feelings! Why is this chick so fixated on them?
2. What exactly is the purpose of this blog again?
3. Why am I wasting my time reading this?
4. Where have all my socks gone? I am starting to think the dryer does actually eat them

My answers to these pressing queries are as follows:

1. I love tomatoes. Like, I freaking love tomatoes. I include them in my meals as much as possible. I grow them in the summer. I get depressed when I encounter watery, mealy (sp?) sub-standard tomatoes. Tomatoes are my favourite nightshade. I respect that the Tomato is super-friends with Basil, Garlic and Balsamic Vinegar. I invite the super-friends over quite often when I party with my Tomato homies. My bf actually coined the term "grumpy tomato" to refer to me, thus perpetuating my identification with them on a purely metaphorical level. My reasoning? Like many tomatoes I am alternately sweet and acidic. I play well with others (esp. if those others like or are in fact made of cheese). I turn very red when embarrassed (that one's kinda weak I know) because I can have a very thin skin...heh...and...ok let's just leave it at "I love tomatoes". Oh, and I can get very grumpy at times-yes tomatoes can be grumpy, especially when you let them rot in your fridge or cook them the wrong way. That said, I'll try to keep the grumping to a minimum around here...contrary to my blog title..man I really am a terrible blogger....can't even stick to my schtick...
2. The purpose? That was stated rather incoherently in the last entry. I need a place to grump and love on tomatoes. Oh and a place to sort out my thoughts. I also plan to post some of my projects and recipes in case I get some actual followers :P It'll also motivate me to finish said projects and perfect said recipes.
3. I don't know? You were intrigued by the silly picture? You love tomatoes as well? :) There's nothing on tv? You are an acquaintance of mine (thus you know my hermit tendencies) and want to know what I do when I disappear off of the face of the earth (that's not meant to be glib, I realize it's a serious problem)? You too, suffer from the occasional case of the grumps? You have an addiction to wasting time? I'm right with ya buddy....we'll get through this together I promise :) In any case, I'm glad that you're here wasting your time on me :)
4. You would be right. The dryer ate them.

Alrighty now that I've answered these questions I have only a little time to wrap the rest of this entry up. By the way, I would like to take the chance now to apologize for my blatant disregard for proper grammar and punctuation. Lucille Vaughan Payne  (author of The Lively Art of Writing and owner of possibly the most awesome/appropriate name on the planet) would not be amused. Let's not tell her, shall we? I'll get better. I swear. I find that the more educated I get, the less I want to write in an educated manner in my downtime. Sue me? Don't actually though.

Ok so anyhow I am an anxious tomato because I am still not at the point where I should be in terms of my work habits. I'm a lot better but I still procrastinate a hell of a lot. It's really frustrating and makes me feel totally helpless to be at the mercy of my bad habits. Like any addiction you become unsure of what is simply a bad habit and what is just part of your persona. I don't like associating myself with the bad habits I've developed. I like it even less when new people see these bad habits. They haven't known me very long so all they know is the irresponsible me. My boyfriend has only known the irresponsible me...yet somehow he still loves me. Usually when I start to slip and people are beginning to take notice I typically just disappear. It's not that I do't care about these individuals or that I am deliberately careless....I just freak out when people I have grown to love start to see how scattered I can get. This happens across the board. I somehow feel like it's better to just vanish than have them see anymore of my bad habits. It's not right and I am working on correcting it but this flight vs. fight thing has hurt many people I care deeply about. These habits do not define me...they are not an authentic expression of me. I already know when I am deluding myself into thinking that I can get away with this type of behaviour, -now I just have to get into the habit of stopping it before it takes over. So consider this me dropping the gauntlet. My challenge? To get into control of my life and make it up to the people I've hurt along the way. It's gonna be tough but I know I can do it :) To anyone I know who might read this...I know talk is cheap..I also know that I am so so sorry. I will make it up to you, you'll see :)

Whew! Ok that's quite enough for today. How do you like my new grumpy tomato pic? I think it's a little tarty for my tastes....we'll see what I come up with tomorrow. Gotta get some stuff done: obtain cool spice jars, cuddle with boyfriend, get a bunch of studying done, work out, come up with something delicious and healthy for dinner, and finish a paper lampshade. Pics to come tomorrow. Until then I wish everyone out there the best :)

-GT